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Messages of Hope
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Being happy?
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Obviously it's unrealistic to expect to be happy all the time, but is happiness an appropriate key focus for our lives? Surely achieving periods of consistant happiness reflect on an individual whose life is being well and appropriately lived, someone, who is a joy to be around, and undoubtedly in a state where they have the capacity to give to and uplift those around them.
One of the people I have had the opportunity to learn this life lesson from was a delightful character I met in hospital as a medical student. Severely disfigured and disabled by the worst form of Rheumatoid Arthritis he simply radiated happiness. Whilst those around him seemed overwhelmed by their lesser illnesses he stood out in stark contrast. He was a joy to be around and somehow he was able to be find happiness despite his lot in life. It was very humbling and awe inspiring at the same time.
This man's consistant happiness was so different from the "shallow" happiness derived from materialistic achievements; the new car, the new kitchen, things that research shows only create "fleeting" feelings of satisfaction, and trap us on an insatiable materialistic path.
What I want to focus on is what recent research now supports as promoting that lasting happiness that allows us to free ourselves from attachment and dependence on material things.
1. NURTURE RELATIONSHIPS
The most fundamental finding is what has been obvious all the time - Strong Personal Relationships have the greatest impact on your satisfaction with life.
So Strategy 1 = make sure you put time and effort into your friends and family. "Taken for granted" probably best sums up the problem that many relationships suffer from.
2. IDENTIFY AND USE YOUR STRENGTHS
Whether your gifts are in leadership, or being a good team member, or just having a great sense of humour, whenever and wherever there is an opportunity, use it. That might be possible at work or it might be a gift that is usable in your private life.
3. SEEK OUT "FLOW" EXPERIENCES
Where FLOW = A state of Joy, Creativity and Total Involvement.
Where troubles and time seem to disappear and the person has a feeling of transcendence
It's usually an activity that is being done for its own sake. Often it's experienced when we are involved with our hobbies, which can be some form of art for some and sporting events for others.
You know it's been a FLOW experience when time seems to stop and your self-awareness
disappears as you are so engrossed in what you are doing.
4. FIND MEANING
There are a number of simple but effective habits to take on that relate to this and that will bolster "Happiness levels".
The first of these is the "Gratitude Diary" - Daily recording or out loud being grateful for 3 things that went well and why this was of value to you -and it can be anything from the simple watching of a sunset to the sorting out of a difficult life event.
The second is to "Perform Small Acts of Kindness" - Yes they have proven what all of us really already knew - 5 kind acts in a week especially if done all in 1 day measurably boosts happiness levels.
The third is to "Find a Connection to a larger purpose", whether that means your religious beliefs and involvement or something else that also validates a sense of purpose for you.
This is not a complete list, but just some points to reflect on and to consider.
It's not a list that moves far outside of what we as Christians already acknowledge as the "right path".
It then just becomes a question of whether knowing and doing are both happening in our lives.
Graham
Further Reading - www.blackdoginstitute.org.au
Martin Seligman, Authentic Happiness: Using the New Positive Psychology to Realize Your Potential for Lasting Fulfillment [Paperback] Free Press, 2004 |
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