Your Wedding at Pilgrim

A wedding at Pilgrim

PILGRIM UNITING CHURCH

12 Flinders Street, Adelaide

Ph: 08 8212 3295           Fax: 08 8212 9637

SUMMARY OF STEPS

In planning your wedding there are some particular aspects that you need to take into consideration. The following few paragraphs will provide a guide as to what is expected if you eventually make Pilgrim Church your choice.

INITIAL ENQUIRIES

Your initial enquiry is made to the Administrator, in the Pilgrim Office. The Administrator will offer assistance regarding possible dates for your wedding and the process for planning for your wedding.

A tentative booking can be made with the Administrator, however the booking is not confirmed until a deposit is received. You need to book and confirm as early as possible.

MINISTERS

A Minister associated with Pilgrim Church will celebrate your wedding, according to the rites of the Uniting Church in Australia. Pilgrim has two Ministers: Rev Jana Norman and Rev Sandy Boyce. They may be contacted through the Pilgrim Office in the first instance. If neither Jana or Sandy are available, another Uniting Church Minister associated with Pilgrim will be available to celebrate your wedding.

If the wedding couple wish to use their own Uniting Church Minister, it is essential to contact Pilgrim Church at the outset to arrange a meeting with their Minister and one of the Ministers at Pilgrim Church. This needs to be done before the booking can be confirmed. Any requests for participation by a visiting Uniting Church Minister will be dealt with on an individual basis and will not change the usual pattern and expectations for weddings at Pilgrim Church.

We respectfully advise that pastors and ministers from another denomination or tradition will not be able to preside at weddings at Pilgrim Uniting Church.

PRE-MARRIAGE PROGRAM - PREPARE

The Church has a commitment to help you in establishing a rich and lasting relationship and requires all couples to participate in a pre-marriage Prepare program. 'Prepare' is a short, confidential program designed for couples who are planning to be married. Its aim is to identify and encourage those things, which build up a relationship and strengthen a marriage.

`Prepare' involves a couple in up to three interviews with a trained facilitator:

The questionnaire used by 'Prepare' is NOT an examination or a compatibility test. There are no right or wrong answers. It is not a screening process to sort out who should be married. Its purpose is to help you understand more about yourself, your partner, and your relationship. All information is confidential between you and the facilitator, who has been carefully trained in this sensitive work.

See website for more details, http://www.prepare-enrich.com.au/

FORMS

Intent to Marry form to be completed at least one month and one day before the wedding. Birth certificates are required to be sighted by the Minister, as well as evidence of nullity/dissolution in the case of a divorce. The Intent to Marry form can be downloaded from OCBA website (click on "Notice of Intended Marriage", http://www.ocba.sa.gov.au/bdm/forms.html#Marriages). The form can be printed off, completed and brought to the first meeting with the Minister. Alternatively, a copy can be obtained through the Pilgrim Church office, or completed with the Minister at the first meeting.
Happily Ever After — the Minister is required to provide a copy to the wedding couple, and contains information about rights and responsibilities in marriage.

A further document needs to be signed at the wedding rehearsal. On the wedding day, three forms are signed including the marriage certificate, and wedding registers (one form for Office of Births, Deaths and Marriages, and one for church wedding register book).

MEETINGS

Unless by arrangement, all meetings will be at Pilgrim Uniting Church, 12 Flinders St, Adelaide.

You will need to contact the Minister who marries you a minimum of two months before the service so that the necessary documentation and planning can be arranged. Usually 2-3 meetings will take place with the Minister.
The first is an introductory meeting, when documentation for the Intent to Marry form is completed. It will also include discussion about the marriage service, which is based on the rites of the Uniting Church. The Minister will discuss the flow of the service, its meaning and the vows that you will make to each other. This conversation will include discussion of hymns and readings as well as setting a time for the rehearsal. Samples of wedding services are available to provide options.
The second (and third) meeting is to finalize the service. Some emails may take place in between, including draft outlines of the service.

WEDDING SERVICE

While the actual details may vary from service to service, the main 'elements' of the service will be:

Other optional elements of the service may include:

Hymns and songs may be included to be sung if the guests are familiar with church music. This is at the discretion of the couple in discussion with the organist.

ORDERS OF SERVICE

Some couples choose to provide an order of service, either through a professional printer, or using a word processor. This is not essential, and it is the couple‘s choice if they wish to do so. If you inquire at the Pilgrim Church Office you can be shown a range of samples used in the past. The Minister can assist you with questions concerning copyright and content when you are preparing your order of service. The Minister needs to see the Order of Service before it is printed. The preparation and cost of the orders of service are the responsibility of the wedding couple.

MUSIC

Pilgrim Church has a long musical tradition and many couples happily leave the choice of music to the organist which may include the magnificent Pilgrim organ. Any special arrangements for music should be discussed with the organist, who has the final discretion on these matters. The organist may also arrange a soloist or choir if required.
All couples are asked to arrange a meeting with Peter Kelsall (Pilgrim organist) in relation to music for the wedding. This meeting should take place as early as possible in the planning, to enable time to discuss music, including options or alternatives for wedding music if required.

Secular or 'pop' music and amplified or taped music is inappropriate within the traditional religious setting which Pilgrim Church offers. This could be used in the less formal atmosphere of the reception, if desired.

Hymns with the ceremony are optional and their use and choice should be discussed with the officiating minister and organist.

Organist:   Peter Kelsall   Telephone 0409 092 593

THE REHEARSAL

The rehearsal usually takes place on a night in the week leading up to the wedding for ˝ - 1 hour. At this rehearsal, all participants in the wedding are required to be present (bride, groom, attendants including any flower girls and pageboys, readers, etc). Parents are also encouraged to attend, as well as the photographer and videographer if used. The rehearsal allows a "walk through" of the service so everyone knows what they are doing.

PHOTOGRAPHS/VIDEOS

The photographer (and videographer) are required to contact the Minister prior to the wedding to discuss protocols. The general rule is that there should be minimal photography during the church service. We know how important visual records are to you as a memento of your wedding day. For this reason, photographs and video may be taken by professional photographers in an unobtrusive manner, and without the use of flash photography. Couples are asked to ensure that this conversation with the Minister takes place.   Photos of the venue and sample album photos can be seen here.

FLOWERS

Two large vases of flowers are provided in the main body of the Church and one small vase in the Chapel. Depending on the availability of flowers an attempt is made to tone in with a variety of colours since there can be more than one wedding on any day. This overcomes the problem of different colour schemes. In addition to these flowers, the candles on the communion table and the candelabra are all lit and together they provide a beautiful setting for your wedding. There may be occasions during the year when the setting of the church will mean negotiating alternative arrangements with the minister.

SIGNING THE REGISTER

A wooden table for signing the register is usually placed at the entrance to the side eastern chapel. Material matching the wedding outfits may be provided by the couple to place as a cloth on the table (optional). A gold pen is available for signing the register, but the couple may provide an alternative if desired.

CONFETTI

The throwing of rice, petals, confetti or other litter is not permitted on Pilgrim grounds, which are under the jurisdiction of the Adelaide City Council. A bond of $400 will be required in addition to the wedding fee to ensure adherence to this request. This bond will be refunded within the week after your wedding if this requirement is adhered to.

FEES

The fee charged by the Church covers all costs associated with the wedding including those of the counselling course. If a soloist or choir is requested there will be an additional charge. The deposit and final fees must be paid to the Administrator, at the Pilgrim Church Office, 12 Flinders Street, Adelaide or posted to GPO Box 116, Adelaide, 5001, Telephone 8212 3295.

It is important that all fees be paid no later than two weeks prior to your wedding.
Information regarding the amount of the fee can be obtained by calling the Church Office, hrs 9-3.30pm.

FURTHER QUERIES ?

These guidelines provide for much flexibility. The details of your service will be finalised between you and the Minister involved. Any queries that you have need to be raised with the Minister.


Photos used with permission - this page updated September 2011